Meet Emilie Schneider

My Story:

Having sworn off religion during high school, I departed San Diego for university in the Northeast full of experimental ideas, only to find myself plopped in the middle of an on-campus Christian community that I really enjoyed. Fast forward two years, and I was completely sold-out on evangelicalism.

I left school in the middle of my undergraduate degree to take time off for a “religious sabbatical,” i.e. an unpaid internship at a non-denominational charismatic church back home. Things started well for me in that environment, but eventually, the experience became high-control – a patriarchal, hierarchical, and fairly authoritarian version of Christianity. Nevertheless, I stayed for twelve years, while completing both my undergrad degree, a Master of Divinity degree, and becoming a licensed pastor. 

Leaving that church was one of the hardest things I did in my adult life. I left not only my community (including my family of origin who attended that church) but also my vocational path and means of financial stability. The next few years were both fraught and joy-filled as I *unlearned* much of what I thought I knew and opened my heart and mind to a new kind of spaciousness.

One part of this process was coming to terms with my own sexuality. One morning, during a time of reading and meditation, as I was studying a book on queer theology, I felt a strong sense that what I was learning needed to be applied to my own life, personally. The thought of coming out as “gay” sent me into a panic; I felt like I was drowning and I struggled to breathe. What came up was gut-wrenching shame, disgust, and humiliation. The homophobia ran deep.

It has taken many years and a great deal of work to slowly arrive to myself, to be comfortable in my skin. It has been profoundly spiritual, and I’ve never felt as though I was the one charting the path. I’m passionate about the idea that faith and queer identity are not mutually exclusive. We’ve been lied to that we must choose one or the other.

Whoever you are, whatever you’re struggling with, please know that there is a wide open space for you. I’m grateful and excited that you’re here and I would love to walk with you into something new. 

“Oh God who created us in our beautiful queerness, be with us… Call us toward courage and community as we honor ourselves, just as you summoned us to be.”